Name Game!

What's in a name???.... In fact a lot is if you consider the Indian Entertainment Industry - A lot is spent on selecting & promoting the names of the Movies and Television programs than the Movie or the program itself. One of the few things that have grown over the years in the Indian Entertainment Industry is the length of the names. The TV Industry, in particular, has seen a spurt of Sentence-long names. Balaji Telefilms of Ekta Kapoor has undoubtedly been the trend-setter. The virus then spread to news & business channels, channels airing spiritual programs, sports channels and to most others!

There are programs having names which can claim their place in the record books. However, most of these longish names most often challenge the content/ story of the program. A program boasting a name like 'Chal Kahin door Nikal Jayein' may actually be a program addressing problems of old people living in an old-age home somewhere near Thane... and when you thought 'Dhak Dhak Karne laga' to be a celebrity dance based show, you will be shocked to tune in and find it's actually a Health based show primarily dealing with Cardiac problems... you will be forced to believe - What's in a name?

Browsing the listings of television programs & movies on the Entertainment sections of almost all the newspapers is somewhat interesting, time consuming (remember these long names take a fair amount of time to read!) often tiring and at times boring... it not only adds a couple of more pages to our dailies, wastes a lot of precious newsprint, ink and invaluable time of our prized human resources... can we then deduce that it's actually affecting our growth as a nation or may be adding to the pollution levels in most big cities (somebody must have already taken up this research in India- which is another of our favorite pastime!) Here's a glimpse of where our entertainment industry is heading to - 'Ghar ka Chirag' on DD1 is somewhat Ok but what to do with 'Bikhri Aas Nikhri Preet'??... 'Woh Rehne Waali mehlon ki' on Sahara One is probably as spread-out as the Mahal itself... then on Star Network - the famous 'Kya Aap Paanchvi Paas se tez hain?' and 'The Great Indian Laughter Challenge IV'... (panting - Can I have a glass of water please!) .... 'Kyunki saas bhi kabhi bahu thi' & 'Kahani ghar ghar ki' are the pioneers... which are now finding a successor in 'Bidai- Sapna Babul ka'... even the established smaller names have added a few more unwanted words to their names... may be out of complex - 'Sa Re Ga Ma Pa - sangeet ka vishwayuddh' is an apt case in point. Some new channels are boasting of not only longish names but bizarre selection words - for instance 'Kiss Kiss Bang Bang' on Bindass TV... SAB TV has scored a point with the name 'Lo Ho Gayi Pooja Is Ghar Ki'... I am stressed to think which Pooja & which 'Ghar'??... NDTV Imagine is not lagging far behind with 'Junoon Kuchh Kar Dikhane ka'... please do something with your name first, I beg. Old stalwart Zee's top ranking serials include 'Dulhan... Banoo mein teri' and 'Nagin- Vaadon ki Agnipareeksha'. The new kid on the block '9X' is seemingly providing the best platform to Ekta Didi where she's playing with all sorts of names - 'Kahani Hamare Mahabharat ki' (which I initially thought was another family drama! ... but is actually the Epic with all the weird dialogues and strange casting!)... then they have 'Jai Maa Vaishno Devi' and 'Lux Kaun Jeetga Bollywood ka Ticket'... pata nahin kaun jeetega but somebody will sure get asthmatic or may have Bronchial problems reading the name... another Channel from the 9x Network - 9XM (Music channel) is actually going all out to prove its creative supremacy with names like - '100% Discount', 'Zara Dheere Bol Na', 'Phata Poster, Nikla Hero'... 'Hit me Chhotey', 'Billi Ka Badla', 'Pagal Gane', 'Bakwas-E-ishq' and to top it all ' Kutte Ki Meow'... huhhhh... exhausting... What to comment on Sahara Filmy's 'Meri Bhains ko Anda Kyon Maara?'... its tongue-twisting & tiring even in its abbreviated form - MBKAKM.

Even some Movies are giving a tough competition with sentence-long-names - 'Agnipankh, Sky is not the limit', 'Jodi Kya Banai- Wah Wah Ramji'... 'Sanam Hum Aapke Hain' etc ... there are chances you may fall asleep half way through the name... what to say bout the movie!

Whosoever said what's in a name will find his statement vindicated. Indian entertainment industry is all set to justify his belief - you will end up watching something completely different from what you'd expect from the name... sometimes its intentional so as to let the viewers keep guessing or may be to add some shock-value as O. W. Holmes once said - Fate tried to conceal him by naming him Smith. Some names are picked only to carry an effect, a feel. Sometimes the names are selected arbitrarily just because the 'namer' doesn't know what to call it - as Stafford Beer said ' I don't know what my dog's real name is but I call him Rover'.

Apart from so many other things in the movie Sholay, I particularly like the line "Tumhara naam kya hai Basanti?"

... क़दम बढ़ते गए...

कुछ बेपरवाह कुछ शंकीत
कुछ भटकते हुए कुछ बहकते हुए
दूरीयाँ कुछ घटती गयीं
राहों की धुंध छंटती गयीं
वाक्यों की नीरन्तर ठोकरों से
लडखडाते हुए संभलते हुए
रीश्तों से गर्द हटती गई
और दायरे सीमटते गए
जीवन की पगडंडी पर
क़दम कुछ यूँ बढ़ते गए

Note : There is some problem with Google Transliteration. You may think there are some spelling mistakes but I am unable to rectify the same. Please bear.

Learning Space & Man Management in a Local Train

It’s a strange paradox to expect any kind of humour in a local train. Anybody who has lived in Mumbai will agree with me. Those who have even lived in other metros (where we have local trains) can’t compare themselves with the plight of a local train traveller in Mumbai. As they say… Mumbai is Mumbai in all practical senses. If you happen to get into a Mumbai local train during the office hours brackets (8.00 am to 10.00 am and 5.30 pm to 8.00 pm), you will appreciate that it’s a genuine adventure. All those who get a lot of kick watching ‘Fear Factor’ kind of shows will certainly have a second thought. Once into a local train, you may seriously contemplate any of the following options depending upon the time you have already spent travelling in Mumbai :

1. You may request Death, if it’s your first day or may be even if it’s the 1^st week of your adventure in Mumbai. You hate everything – Mumbai, Local Trains & Platforms, Your office timings, Your Job, the people in train, the deodorant they use (if at all they use any), you even start hating very intrinsic properties of a human body – why God created Sweat, if at all he created it why should it be flowing so profusely in a Local Train compartment, if at all it has to flow why so much from a man standing next to me!!… why … why whyyy??… your prayers end with …. भगवान् या तो मुझे बिठा दे… या फिर उठा ले!

2. From 2^nd week onwards you may be praying to God for a window seat… and you will more sooner than later realize that Window seats, facing the direction of the movement of train command a lot of premium. You may find it strange but its worth it … the additional gush of Mumbai air that you get in such a position by virtue of the movement of train is really worth it!

3. With a bit of maturity forcibly creeping in, you will realize that its far more easier to do a ‘तपस्या’, Sitting naked, on one of the arrow-pointed snow-covered peaks somewhere in Himalayas (think bout your butts here!) and expecting one of the Gods to appear and bless you with the three-vardaans THAN expecting a window seat that too as per the set-up mentioned at point no 2 above, during both the morning & evening rush hours.

4. By the end of 1 – 1 and a half month you are more than happy for a space to stand comfortably, if its around the gates, its icing on the cake because of all those calculations of the so called ‘fresh’ air.

5. By the end of a quarter, you are glad to get a place to stand in between the rows of seats and aim for the space that’s exactly under the Fan. People sitting will smilingly oblige you by allowing you to get some space to stand among their jumbled-up, crisscrossed knees. They act quite benevolent as Mr Chidambaram does while announcing subsidy on Rasoi Gas during Annual Budgets. Both probably have a sense of doing Charity for the mankind as a whole!

You will invariably find yourself fitting into any of the five options mentioned above. Once fit then there are so many more adventures. You further pray to God not for your own self but for the men who will be surrounding you during this 1-hour ordeal from Malad to Church Gate. You wish, that all the pores on their skin remain closed during the journey if its asking for the heaven then you wish let God give them enough money to afford a decent deodorant or in worst case you wish - may you yourself catch ‘झुखाम’ during that hour of journey and choke your nose to save yourself from the suffering. At times, while watching Discovery or Nat Geo I used to wonder God has not given Man anything to mark his territory – as we see a dog doing susu on every pole in his colony or may be a tiger scratching the trees marking his territorial supremacy. Travelling in a local train made me realise God is not that unkind as I initially used to think. People are more than successful in establishing & holding their territory by virtue of sweat, while travelling. They rotate every 12-15 minutes to circulate the heat & odour and successfully hold their territories. Obviously, the direction of their armpits gets a tad more space. The prayers continue till the end of the journey…..

Its not only you who are on an adventure trail… suddenly you will find almost everybody else is enjoying this journey and is part of the adventure. There are groups in almost all the facing-rows of all the compartments… and they will go to any length to hold the tightly fixed seating plan of the group. In case you are able to grab a seat by your extra-ordinary efforts, you will certainly feel like a refugee in the set-up, they will humiliate you enough just by their gazes & expressions that you may even feel like getting down at the next station itself. Almost all such groups have their favourite topics for discussion. Most often you’ll get a feeling that all the Finance & Economic Policies of the country should be formulated in consultation with these passengers. You may often come across selectors of Indian Cricket team… then there are Cricket Coaches who are analysing the kind of shots played by Sachin, Sehwag, Gambhir & company in the match against Pakistan last evening. Its here that you’ll get to know why Ishant Sharma didn’t bowl a slow Yorker to Younis Khan or may be what was going on in Irfan Pathan’s mind when he dropped that catch of Shoaib Malik at mid-on… you find a lot of mind readers here! Trains particularly originating and terminating at Virar have a Bhajan-Mandli each in almost all the 2^nd Class compartments. Amazingly, they match the rhythm of their Bhajans with the rhythm of a train movement and you start to feel the bhajans emanating from the running wheels of train.

On an average, each Grip (holder) has about 7-8 hands during rush hours. Very often you don’t recognise your own hand when you feel like scratching it…. Then you look at the color & print of the shirt you are wearing and then try and find a hand with similar shade/ print on the Grip. If you cant find it on one you try looking for it on the next one close to you ….. travelling in local trains kind of inspires you to stretch your limits, many a times you will find your hand on such a far off Grip that you never thought was practically possible!

Shoes are probably the ones who bear the most brunt of this adventure on a daily basis. Most of the times you refuse to accept them as the same shoes you were wearing while boarding the train. Thanks to innumerable Boot-Polish wallas on almost all the stations that reunite you with your loving shoes. May God bless them all!

Then you will find some Gujju Bhai enticing your nostrils by popping open a Bhaakarwaadi or a Chivda farsan packet with one hand while holding the holder with another. You forget the smell and concentrate on his attempt to take that handful of chivda from the packet to his own gaping mouth… I bet if you keep yours open, there are fair chances that this handful of chivda may end up there!… it’s almost impossible to achieve this feat in a place which has the highest density of human population in the world at a given point of time.

Among all this & more you will find many entrepreneurs devising altogether new ways to pass this one & a half hour, standing on one leg. Some smarties will start loudly reading out many a posters that are stuck all over the walls & ceiling of the coach – शराब छुद्वाइये सात दिनों में, राइ पिल्स क्लीनिक, अंग्रेज़ी बोलिए ४५ दिनों में, पर्सनल लोन के लीये कॉल करें श्री प्रदीप ९८३४२…., फॉर अ रेलाक्सिंग मसाज कॉल उषा ओं ……, गर्मी को कहो बस पियो हल्दीराम का कूल खस, बाबा ढोलक्नाथ का सत्संग – १० सितम्बर को चलो घाटकोपर, प्रेम-सबंधों, मन चाहे विवाह, नौकरी की समस्याओं, पति या पत्नी को वशीभूत करने के लीये मिलें प्रख्यात ज्योतिष पंडित हरी प्रसाद से… etc etc…. they make your time also fly-by rather easily, making you forget the sufferings for the time being!

Local trains mirror our country! With a great variety of people boarding the local trains. At times they are an actual exhibition of democracy in India – every hand may not be having the work, every person might not be getting two meals in a day but almost every set of ears in the train has a set of earphones, listening to local FM stations and humming the songs parallel… oblivious of the fact that some poor guys have not put on the earphones! You get to hear latest Ringtones & SMS alert tones in such situations। Some tones immediately grab your attention – (in increasing pitch) ज़ोर से आया… ज़ोर से आया… ज़ोर से आया… ये लो SMS आया और may be – ऐ जल्दी फ़ोन उठा नहीं तो पास वाला उठा लेगा…

At times, standing helpless, I thank God for blessing Man with so many special abilities – Reading anything in all the awkward positions that the limited space offers, is certainly a skill which people have developed over generations. After all reducing a normal 14” x 22” newspaper to a size as small as 7” x 11” and holding & reading the whole of it is an art-form. Moreover, you are not the only one to be reading the Newspaper or the book, like it or not, almost everybody who’s touching you somewhere is actually keeping pace while you are finishing the pages. Suddenly somebody will beg you – “बॉस… अभी पेज मत पलटना, मेरा ख़तम नहीं हुआ”. Very soon you realize that you are actually serving the nation – spreading awareness & literacy।

All in all its a great learning experience for everyone. I am sure most of you have learnt something while travelling. Please offer your experiences in the 'comments' section below!

An Open Letter to my Missing Laptop

Dear Inspi (as I lovingly used to call my Dell Inspiron 7000m),

This is to let you know, we all are missing you a lot at home & office. Mom-Dad have not taken the food (of their choice) for the last so many days. My office clerks have stopped doing the routine work-typing the office documents etc, attributing it to your absence (huh! Another excuse to avoid work in a typical sarkari office!). I know I have not lost you after you got dropped from the rear seat of my car... but, contrary to popular belief, you have somehow managed to run away. I still remember you were quite upset since the last few days while we were trying to forcibly load a pirated version of Windows Vista over your pre-loaded XP. I accept everybody is possessive about his old companions but never had I imagined you would be so stubborn and place that outdated version of XP over all of us! Now, in hindsight, I believe you had at least some reasons for being so inflexible… I now recall how you used to pop-up those technical jargon and messages expressing your inability to install Vista… at times those were genuine… many a times irrelevant… Since you always had a notorious history of such acts, this is probably the reason I never really believed what you popped-up and incessantly tried loading the pirated Windows Vista premium over a Dell Inspiron 700 M with 512 MB of DDR-II RAM having an Intel Centrino Mobile 1.7 GHz processor. I might have been brutal but you many a times gave me reasons to expect best from you. Hope you still remember that chilly mid-night of 28^th December at Indore when I tried and successfully loaded the pirated Photoshop CS2 over you... never to use it though. I was really impressed by the way you took it in your stride. Then, after initial reluctance, how you agreed to allow me to load 3d-Studio Max & Maya, further strengthened our bonding. I believe we really had a great camaraderie when you (after initial hiccups) used to run all those pirated VCDs & DVDs. Now that you are nowhere to be found, I often get up in the middle of the nights, gazing at the stars from the window of my flat at 4^th floor thinking how blessed I was to have you. With teary eyes and a heavy heart I often miss my personal collection of music, snaps, clips, videos, articles, documents, wall-papers et al, that you so very gracefully use to carry and unfold at the touch of my finger on your touch-pad. You were a real companion, a true friend - the way you used to absolutely hide all those x-rated pictures and videos under all those fake files and folders (and sometimes cunningly made difficult even for me to remember and retrieve). You were so moody, Inspi, and had your unique way of throwing tantrums, when you didn’t want to play an MP3 you used to throw irritating pop-ups – Disc not readable, No Data on the Disc etc, then I used to fool you by playing the same disc through another player (iTunes or Real Player). You often proved to be a nincompoop, when after installing and running all the ‘heavy’ software, you used to balk at opening an MS Word or Excel… that was really silly, friend!

I always used to take special pride with you in that black artificial-leather-bag over my shoulder. I still remember the envious gazes of fellow travelers while on flights or on train, silently looking at you (and me) and getting impressed by that 12.1 inch TFT screen. That probably used to be the only moment when I used to acknowledge that ‘size does matter’… the smaller the better!

I know I have not lost you, I know you have gone by yourself. I believe we will surely meet again after some months or years just like they get lost & meet again in Kumbh ka Melas as in inumerable Bollywood movies. By that time you may get a new ‘owner’ I may get a new ‘Notebook’ and might move on in life. As of now, I can only beg and say… पुरानी बातें भूल जाओ, जो हुआ सो हुआ, घर लौट आओ तुम्हें कोई कुछ नहीं कहेगा…॥

तुम्हारा अपना ही
Sammy (as u lovingly used to pop-up on your TFT)

A Fantasy called 'Lower Berth'

I don't know how many of us are able to observe or remember this but a 'Lower Berth' in any of the coaches of trains run by Indian Railways is a fantasy of every traveller. During my initial years of growing up, I used to idolise my Chachaji (who has been with Indian Railways ever since I can remember) not for his position, designation or profile but ONLY for the fact that he was working with Railways. I still have very fond memories of travelling with my mom & dad to Gwalior (my grand-parents' place) during summer vacations. I can remember how my Dad used to feel specially proud if we had 1 or 2 Lower Berths among our reserved berths. How all other Uncles & Aunties on facing berths used to envy us... and I remember how my Chachji used to say "I get only the lower berths reserved... if I don't get lower berths, I keep on preponing/ postponing the ticket till I get Lower berths"... and I used to feel like growing up immediately and joining Indian Railways... to get lower berths at will!!... I thought it was only our family who was so very fond of lower berths... but... as time passed by and I started booking railway tickets for myself or others, I realised that a Lower Berth commanded a lot of respect even among other (read almost all) travellers... I remember how the Booking Clerk at the Railway reservation window used to oblige... चलो एक लोअर बर्थ दे देता हूँ ... even Railways itself considers lower berth exclusive... the official railway-reservation website has options like "Book the ticket only if 1 or all the berths are lower berths"... the person who is not ticking this option some way carries a guilty feeling that he is going against the law of the nature???... travelling all these years, I find there is no decline in the affinity towards the lower berth... people will come up with all sorts of excuses to grab a lower berth... some of the interesting ones that I have come across are -I get down at every station or I like to have tea/ coffee at every station even during night... somebody said let me have the lower berth coz मेरा स्टेशन बहुत सुबह सुबह आएगा and when I reasoned that my station is same as yours... he justified ...कोई बात नहीं मैं आपको उठा दूँगा ???... another interesting excuse thrown in recently was - मुझे नीचे सोने दीजिये मेरी लम्बाई बहुत ज़्यादा है ... when I argued that length of both the berths is same whether its an upper berth or a lower berth (in II AC), I got a better 'shot' - "If I sleep on the upper berth, my hanging legs will hit everybody passing thru the gangway!"... I finally had to get convinced... another of strange excuses was from an old bureaucrat. The brevity of the reason left me speechless... बेटा मैं रिटायर्ड IAS हूँ... क्या मैं नीचे सो जाऊं .... (I am still figuring out the relation between the two!!)... a very common and interesting one is मुझे रात में बार-बार सु सु के लीये जाना पड़ता है... देख लो फिर आप को ही बार बार डिस्टर्ब होगा (अरे भैय्या ...पर आपकी सु सु से मुझे डिस्टर्ब क्यों??) ... these things yet again remind me how privileged my Chachaji was - how he used to 'donate' one of his lower berths to other 'under-privileged' travellers -by exchanging a lower berth reserved in the name of his 5-6 years old son with an upper berth of a 55-60 years old aunty - who in turn used to look at him blessingly ... the way beggars look at you, being obliged, on traffic signals in return for that 1 or 2 rupees coin... they some how control the rush of sentences like भगवान आपका भला करे ... आपके बाल बच्चे सलामत रहे etc... With a lower berth in your possession you feel and look exceptionally confident... remember ONLY a person having a lower berth can give a corner to sit to some short distance travellers who don't have a reservation... this genuinely feels like a king.. as if आप अपनी रियासत में से ज़मीन का एक छोटा सा टुकडा एक गरीब-मजलूम को बसने के लिये दे रहे हैं... I have always considered this as one of the supreme powers that one can have in this material world... sometimes I seriously fear that the world (of travellers) will finally get divided between the Haves and Have-nots i.e.; those who have a Lower Berth and those who don't have any ... I firmly believe that this 'Lower Berth' will continue to fascinate one and all as long as there are trains and people are travelling by them!

Monsoons... One of the things I thank God for!

Monsoons - the season I love. Its probably the only season, I thank God for. There are ample reasons to love (& hate) the season... but I love the season even for the reasons others hate it!

~ I love the season for hot pakoras and kadak chai in my balcony

~ I love the season for roasted corn-cobs (the famous Indian Bhuttas!)

~ I love the season for getting wet, with all the clothes on!

~ I love the season for local trains getting cancelled in Mumbai

~ I love the season for the winds on Marine Drive & the umbrellas getting 'Ulta' - making it awkward for all the 'Ladies & Gentlemen' having 'fun'!

~ I love the season for flooding of streets & reaching office with pants folded upwards

~ I love the season for all the mud-spots on one's back & bum. Remember its only here when you are completely responsible for your own mud-spots. The variety & number of spots is a testimony to how much & where all the person has traveled!

~ I love the season for standing at my window, observing the shapes, images & colours in the droplets which are continuously forming & dripping from the tip of the 'Peepal' leaves stemming from the wall of the flat opposite.

~ I love the season for the hot & steamy undergarments (they don't get dry & you have to invariably iron them next morning!)

~ I love the season for driving past the bystanders, splashing them with everything on the road & then watching their expressions by turning back!

~ I love the season for helping everyone get creative in the office with many age-old and some original & exclusive excuses - Like मेरी गाडी के सैलेंसर में पानी भर गया है, मेरा बच्चा फिसल गया, मेरी बीवी कल बारिश में भीग गई थी तो आज मुझे जुखाम हो गया है, सारे जूते गीले हो गए हैं ... और ... और.. सर इत्ने रोमांटिक मौसम में कोई ऑफिस आता है क्या?.... etc etc etc.... the list is endless.

~ I love the season for unscheduled Power-Cuts - for the respite from TV Channels & FM radio stations for some minutes!

~ I love the season for long drives and particularly long train journeys amidst a lot of greenery, water-falls, mist, washed roads, steaming hot food at road-side dhabas & vada-paavs at Igatpuri & Karjat Railway Stations.

I think these are enough reasons to love the season, however you can still add your own to the list. Hit on the 'comments' and submit.

Aamir ... the movie

Aamir is a new movie... and is currently painting the Movie Reviews sections of most websites & leading dailys. Let me say, there is nothing in particular to rave about BUT... as a whole the movie is compact and its where it scores over many (most) of the movies currently in theatres or that have been released in the recent past. A debut movie for the Director (Raj Kumar Gupta), lead actor (Rajeev Khandelwal), Music Director (some Amit Trivedi) and Cinematographer (Alphonse Roy). The movie is definitely on the arty side - be its length, Camera angles and most other things. The flow is gripping and keeps you on the edge of your seat... the concept might have been picked from any of the foreign movie (I dont know??) but the characters just fit in with quite a perfection. Rajeev Khandelwal as Aamir will certainly surprise everybody. I had personally written him off watching him in some of his TV Serials but he completely washes off that stigma. The best achievement of the movie is-it is LOUD nowhere. Almost everything is subtle and precise. This is the reason even the character artists don't obstruct the flow of the film. Background Music is another highlight. The music director hits the bull's eye with the climax track. Its a superb sufi stuff to end the movie. But... cinematography certainly scores over everything else. Its very on-the-spot. Going by the flow of the movie, the cinematographer doesn't let any moment go. The Camera angles accentuate everything else in almost all the scenes.

Its certainly a brave attempt and everybody associated needs to be acknowledged and applauded. Leave aside the message in the climax, the movie does let you come out feeling having enjoyed something freshly cooked with all the fresh ingredients.

City of JOY!

Calcutta or as they now call it Kolkata - The City of Joy. Off late, I have been getting enough opportunities to visit the city very frequently, mostly on Business trips. This time though it felt like the Discovery's 'Journey to the end of the World'. Travelling in Mumbai-Howrah mail for almost 34 Hours on an RAC Ticket was altogether a 'different' experience. You get to know railway stations of Maharashtra, MP, Chhattisgarh (my bro's birth place - Rajnandgaon was a high point!), Orissa, Bihar, Jharkhand & finally West Bengal. As long as I can remember, I last visited the city some 26-27 years back. The city has 'preserved' itself to quite an extent- to my suprise & shock! The roads, streets, chawls, bazaars, traffic, buildings ... may be even people have almost retained their respective characters despite the change of name from Calcutta to Kolkata... I am, though, still figuring out whether to complement them or contain my shock? Without any offense meant, the bengali-lives still revolve around mostly some 4-5 Cs - Cigarettes, Communists, Curry (a Curry means a Fish-Curry... Maachher Jhol, invariably), Cricket, Colonial Kolkata et al...

Cigarettes are a definite part of most men folk in bengal, you can even meet a beggar on the streets begging एक रुपया दे दो साहिब, एक सिगरेट पी लेंगे... या एक सिगरेट ही दे दो साहिब... Communism literally runs thru blood-vessels in every Bong's body... an autowallah's demand of a rupee more than 'meter' may run into an 'Ondollon'... may sound funny, but I could encounter many such tiny 'Ondollons' during my every stay of 4-5 days... people will gather on the streets... shouting all sorts of slogans... and gradually you will find that 'ek-rupaya-ka-ondollon' getting linked to anti-poor Policies of the Central Govt or Roll-Back of supposed-to-be-hiked Petroleum prices... leading to demands of Withdrawal of CPM support from Central Govt...ooooohhhh.... all such shouting of slogans is certainly followed by 'Bondey-Mautaram'... and suddenly as a bystander you feel proud being a part of Indian Freedom-Struggle (the chorus and aggression will give you an adrenalin rush for sure!). Coming down to Curry (Fish Curry)... any eatery that doesn't serve a Good fish curry (Remember Good means - Good taste, Price and Quantity) doesn't serve anything worth mentioning. People will go into details, inquiring about the kind of fish used in the preparation - and it has to be a Bhetki fish preferably... food does motivate Bongs, still!... Cricket - Combination of SRK & Dada (Ganguly) to form Kolkata Knight Riders in IPL sort of gave Bongs another reason to live... they are talking about it at Workplaces, Restaurants, Theaters, Bazaars, Streets and wherever possible. Everybody is suddenly acting as a team selector and is out to advise Buchanan (the official coach of the team).... another C that strikes is Kolkata's attachment with its colonial past, strangely most the middle-aged Kolkatans take special pride in describing about the Colonial/ British era... most people will 'behave' so nostalgic talking about it that you tend to get an impression that most of them were born before India got its independence and they have really lived through that period. Unlike other Indian cities, Kolkatans are still happily living with English streets - Park Street, Camac Street, Townshend Road, Shakespeare Sarani, Elgin Road et al.... Bongs are way too passionate to handle... all the above Cs will endorse my point probably!

For the past 4-5 trips though, which have happened in too quick succession, I have been trying to find the 'City of Joy'. I never knew where to start from and started from the streets... let me admit plainly - Kolkata streets are NO joy... you don't know what you will get to see... surprises every where... suddenly a man-pulled rickshaw is running parallel to a tram and many a times overtaking it!!...whew!!... Most Mithai shops are still run by names of their Founders and they only keep adding 'families' & 'generations' to the name.... Bhim Chandra Naag, K C Das & Sons, Girish Chandra Dey & Grandsons, Debadutta Sarkar & Brothers... all these names may sound like Chartered Accountancy firms but they are in fact sweet-meat shops. Moreover, they still serve sweets in those 'दोना' and 'कुल्ल्हद' (the small clay pots) and I bet, you can relish these fabulous sweets in such packagings ONLY. Kolkata is heaven for a person like me who has all the 32 sweet teeth!!... One thing exceptional about Kolkatans is they are way too kind when it comes to guiding you in streets, they are, in fact extremely helpful to strangers in the town and I think that's one of the reasons that make Kolkata so tourist-friendly... At times you tend to think that the person might take a half-day off from his office to drop you to the place you are enquiring about!... the city may be too congested but people have really large hearts when it comes to helping others and charity. Mother Teresa was an apt representative of the City...but... Man I am still looking for 'Joy'... after searching for days in all the possible places - finally whatever little JOY I could find was mostly in names - Joy Biswas, Joy Banerjee, Joy Goswami (some theater personality from Kolkata), Joydeep Chatterjee, Joyeeta Biswas, Joy Sengupta (a TV Presenter), Joy Mukherjee (famous bollywood actor).... Bongs seem to have a lot of Joy in name itself....and ...and...finally... Joy Bijoy Sweets (its actually a small sweet shop near Howrah Station which belongs to some Pandit Ram Shankar Dubey and is founded after the names of his two sons Jai & Vijay ...but see the Bangla transformation!)... I think one of our politicians - Jai Pal Reddy will have to change his name to Joy Paul Reddy if he moves to Kolkata... at last I can remember a famous Hemant Kumar song - Joyein toh Joyein Kahaan... ... Joy Bengal... Joy Hind.