Recently my Chachaji placed two advertisements in the classified columns of a Hindi daily – Dainik Bhaskar. One for selling of his flat at Indore and other for the matrimony of his son. Following are the advertisements placed on the SAME day:
1. A Luxurious flat having area of about 1800 Sq Ft in a posh locality in Indore with all the modern amenities, fully furnished kitchen and semi-furnished rooms is available for outright purchase. Flat is at G-1, Nav Regency, Near BCC House, Manoramaganj, Indore 452001.
Contact : S K Verma, Ph. 098xxxxxx34.
Contact : S K Verma, Ph. 098xxxxxx34.
Here’s a look at the ensuing telephonic discussions that followed.
First Call
Trin-Trinnn…
Chachaji : Hellowwww…..
Caller 1 : Saab… wo advertisement padha… us sambandh mein baat karna chahta tha…
Chachaji : Haanji….kahiye…kaun bol rahe hain…
Caller 1 : …. Saab… B K Nigam bol raha hoon… (cutting short) achcha saab… height wagerah kya hai….
Chachaji : haan saab Normal se thodi kam height hai… kareeb 8 feet hai… par comfortable hai….
Caller 1 : …. Kya saab… 8 feet… kam hai….??
Chachaji : haan saab… par Area zyada hai na… to height itni kam nahin lagti….
Caller 1 : hamari family mein sabki height thodi kam hai… ab dekiye… hamari ladkiyon ki height hi 5’1” hai….
Chachaji : arre… toh aap logon ke liye toh aur achcha hai… bahut comfortable rahega… 8 feet mein aap logon ko koi odd nahin lagega…
Caller 1 : … saab agar dekhna chahein toh??....
Chachaji : …. Haan haan kyon nahin saab…. Aajkal ye G-1 Dashrath (Watchman of the Building) ke havale hai… pichhle paanch saalon se, jabse hum log Bombay shift huey hain…
Caller 1 : … waah saab… aap kaafi dharmik aur adhyatmik type ke aadmi lagte hain… aajkal kaun jeevan aur Dashrath ki baat karta hai!
Chachaji : … haan saab… hamare yahan toh anda bhi nahin khaate…
Caller 1 : … par saab hum toh sab khate hain… betiyon ko bhi non-veg bahut pasand hai…
Chachaji : … toh kya hua saab… ek baar aapko de diya to aap jo chahe banayein-khilayein…
Caller 1 : … waah saab… aap bahut khule vicharon waale lagte hain… waise aap logon ki ummeed kya hai?
Chachaji : … saab zyada to nahin… par 50 Lakh ki ummeed to kar hi rahe hain…
Caller 1 : hmm… saab 50 toh thoda zyada hai… dekhiye koshish karengey… wo to aamne –saamne baithengey toh baat karengey…par achcha lagaa aapse baat kar ke… par saab aapne aisa kyon likha hai… ‘Local Offers Preferred’
Chachaji : …. Arre Nigam saab, waise hamein toh aisa koi rservation nahin hai.. par aap hi logically sochiye, koi Morena se aakar toh Indore mein makaan nahin lega na???
Caller 1 : … achcha kara saab bata diya… hum log bhi Morena se hi hain… par phir bhi baat-cheet kuchh samajh main nahin aayi!!!
Chachaji : … chaliye aap dekhne to aaiye… sab details discuss ho jayengey… (murmuring… ye Nigam ki baat zyada samajh mein nahin aayi!... milengey toh dekhengey… )
Second Call
Trin-Trinnnn…..
Chachaji : Hellowwww…..
Caller 2 : Saab… wo advertisement padha… us sambandh mein baat karna chahta tha…
Chachaji : Haanji….kahiye…kaun bol rahe hain…
Caller 2 : …. Saab… Indore se Sood bol raha hoon… Height, Area wagerah kya hai….
Chachaji : haan saab Normal se thodi zyada height hai… kareeb 6 feet hogi… weight 90 ke aas paas hoga
Caller 2 : …. saab… (murmuring) matlab 90 Sq Mtr…matlab lagbhag 1000 sq ft…. haan samajh gaya… theek hai…
Chachaji : haan saab… par 90 pe height itni zyada nahin lagti…. Proportionate hi lagti hai…
Caller 2 : … par saab height 6 feet thodi kam lagti hai… aajkal 8 feet tak toh acceptable ho gaya hai ….
Chachaji : arre… kya baat kar rahe hain saab… aajkal achche achche model, cricketers sab 6 feet ke aas paas hain…. 6 feet koi odd thodi lagta hai…
Caller 2 : … saab agar dekhna chahein toh??....
Chachaji : …. Haan haan kyon nahin saab…. Waise agle Saturday hum log Indore aa rahe hain… nahin toh aap log hamare ghar Bombay aa jaiye…. Ghar ka bhi idea ho jayega
Caller 2 : … saab… yahin Indore mein mil lenge… ab wahan Mumbai kaun aayega … aap logon ko bhi baar baar pareshani
Chachaji : … arre saab… kaisi pareshani… relation ho jayega toh kaisi pareshani
Caller 2 : … waah Verma saab… aap bahut khule vicharon waale lagte hain… waise aap logon ki ummeed kya hai?
Chachaji : … saab kya ummeed karengey… bas function badhiya kar dijiye… baki koi demand nahin hai… jo aap kar denge theek hai…
Caller 2 : hmm… saab itni badi deal hogi to function th badhiya ho hi jayega… aajkal aise log bache hi kitne hain… bahut achcha lagaa aapse baat kar ke…
Chachaji : …. Achcha Sood saab…. Aapki bitiya kya karti hai…
Caller 2 : … arre nahin nahin Verma saab… bitiya ki toh shaadi ho gayi do saal pahle,Canada mein hai… makaan mujhe apne liye hi lena hai!!!..
Chachaji hangs-up the phone!!!
