Characters :
1. Me = Me 2. Doctor = Dr Prakash Gaikwad 3. Nurse 1= Sister Nancy Nair
4. Nurse 2 = Sister Suby Verghese 5. Maid = Mausi 6. Resident Doctor = Dr Rane
7. Guard = Security (Rathoreji) 8. Ward Boys = Bhiku, Misraa
9. Lift Man 1 = Gajanan Shirke aka Shirke 10. Bhagwaan = God, Lift Man 2
During my recent annual pilgrimage to the Hospital, owing to my Dad’s unwritten pact with the Medical community, I got a chance to spend more time in the Intensive Care Units, ICU (and more so in the lobby outside ICU) in one of the biggest hospitals at Bombay. I have been visiting these ICUs on a regular basis for quite some time now. Having covered these Units of some of the big & small hospitals of Bhopal, Indore and Mumbai, a few things appear common to all. The characters mentioned in the starting are common to almost all the ICUs, except for the persons playing these Characters.
Trying to sleep outside the ICU, in the lobby, amongst the snoring-sounds of other concerned relatives, I started cursing my fate in the middle of the night. This cursing started for the loss of sleep, which I attributed to uncomfortable Bed (a steel Chair), which I further attributed to insufficient provision for relatives & families of patients by the Hospital management, which was further attributed to my Dad’s illness (owing to which I was in the hospital), which in turn was my misfortune… and finally the God was found to be responsible for everything bad happening in my life – due to which I was not able to have a good night’s sleep… I wanted to scream “Bhagwaan mere peechhe kyun pade ho?”… What for am I made to suffer outside an ICU… year after year after year??... a lot of similar questions were thumping on my mind, with my eyes closed… senses awake…
… Suddenly I heard a loud voice… could be heard only by me – loud & clear, as if coming through an earphone… “Why are you cursing me?”… “who’s that?” I retorted?... “Arre… I am the God…your Bhagwaan… have come to meet you”… my senses further shaken-up, I asked – “… is this ICU the only place where I can SEE YOU, may be that’s why it’s called ICU?”… God said… “No, rather this is the place where I see you.”… I opened my eyes to find nobody standing anywhere in the lobby… still, I made myself believe that it was indeed the God I was arguing with… still doubting that, I almost shouted… “if you are seeing me then why the hell am I (and my Dad) suffering so much?... and why can’t I see you still”… God replied, “it’s not you alone who are suffering… look at others in this ICU… and you are seeing me so many times during the day… I ‘call’ you here to see me… and realise and accept ‘I See You’…” I didn’t know how to argue and thought I’ll try and verify whatever God said… had a nice sleep after that, being confident that God is seeing me here and so am I… ‘ICU’ both ways.
Argument of the last night started my search for the God around me, next morning. I found the liftman – Shirke, the very first man next morning. Looking fresh for the morning shift. I tried impressing him with a smile hoping this exchange of smiles will yield some dividends when I’ll try to get into the lift during the day (without a pass). … God’s statement flashed in my mind “I ‘call’ you here to see me… and realise and accept ‘I See You’…”….. suddenly Shirke started looking like God. I thought may be its God who’s taking me, and many like me (who are suffering much more) to our patients, doctors, Canteen, Operation Theatres with a smile (and sometimes without a Pass)… the regard ceased the moment Shirke demanded ‘Saab… aap logon ko without Pass itna oopar neeche le ke jaata… hamara Chai-pani bhi toh socho!’… I disembarked from the lift, with a broader smile, somewhat challenging that of Shirke… sitting outside the ICU, I was wondering, questioning – I still can’t see you.
I was sitting in the lobby... a voice with a southy accent shrieked - "1064 ke saath kawn hai?"... I murmured, idhar sabke saath Bhagwaan hai... she repeated "... 1064.." and I suddenly realised it was my Dad's bed number and I was with 1064... I rushed to her, reading the Name-Card which read Sister Nancy Nair. She said I have been attending your Dad since last night... "Jao abhi cleaning & sponge ke liye Mausi ko bulao"... I went to the 'Mausi-Room' on 5th Floor and enquired about the Mausi on Duty for assisting Sis Nancy. One middle-aged Mausi accompanied me in the lift,on her own she started murmuring ... "dekho Babu, hum logon ko kya life hai, jitna apun ke ghar-parivaar wale logon ki care nahin karte, tum logon ki karte hain..." ... I thought.."this is it"... dekho Bhagwaan kitne alag-alag roopon mein milta hai... she concluded her murmur with... " Babu per day 50 Rs. ke hisaab se de dena"... "Aage aapki khushi, mangte hum log kisi se nahn hai"... I thought Bhagwaan is checking my belief again and again...
I was quite impressed by sisters Nancy Nair's & Suby Verghese's support and care of all my Dad's requirements & medication. It is an established fact now that almost 85-90 percent of beautiful-working-Mallu women are professional nurses, the not-so-good looking fat girls join Movies! I used to admire their dedication, day & night taking care of injections, ventilator, bio-prep, medicines, tests ... at times I used to think while lying on the floor at midnight... these sisters were more than my Dad's real sisters, while I was trying to sleep at night they used to try to keep awake so that they don't miss out any observations related to my Dad... I thought for a moment "That's how you find God among humans"... then I was handed over a Bill one morning before the Doctor's visit, to pay in Cash... on enquiry Sister Verghese told me that they had to order those medicines from a chemist outside the hospital... the same thing continued for the next 5 days before I intervened by asking for a Doctor's prescription... hope of finding God was waning yet again... I screamed inside... "Bhagwaan tum ho kahaan??"... I was calming myself down when a hoarse voice instructed all the attendants " ... ab shaam saat baje ke pahle koi nahin aana... yahaan hospital mein doctors, nurses sabko dekhtey rahtey hain... ye ICU hai... itni gardi nahin chahiye idhar.." I tried my best to agree to his declaration... my Dad had also started improving and was feeling much better now on the 7th day... he was actually seeing his God in Dr Prakash Gaikwad, MD. Out of his new found confidence and excitement, he requested Dr Gaikwad in a self-assuring way "... Sir, is baar mera full check-up karwa do... kahin kuchh complication na rah jaaye..." ... instead of assuring a recovering patient, Dr decided to grab the opportunity with both the hands and all the hands of his colleagues from Cardiology, ENT, Medicine, Gastroenterology etc... all the 'Gods' combined, started trying their bests to rescue my Dad from the 'evils'... with a considerable price-tag though... I could do nothing except "Hey Bhagwaan!"... my search continued... Rathoreji probably read my sufferings & frustration and approached me one night... "Aapko Saify Hospital jaana chahiye tha, udhar wo loag itna nahin loot-te... " understanding his intent, I questioned him ..." kya Rathoreji, aap 8 saal se idhar ho... apne Hospital ke khilaaf bol rahe ho?"... Rathoreji sympathized, "... arre saab abhi ek-do din mein aap ke papa ko ye loag discharge karengey... mere do-teen sau rupaye ke liye main apko mis-guide to nahin karoonga na... toh agle baar idhar nahin aana..."... I understood his intent but was afraid of his anticipation.
Dad finally got discharged after almost 11 days in ICU and two days in a private ward. Shirke was the man who met me most often during this period... he was bound to be most 'hopeful'... after dropping my Dad into the Ambulance, he 'accompanied' me to 'assist' in settling the final dues... frustrated in flashes, I murmured... "har cheez mein saala dikkat hai... Abhi Bhagwaan kahin raha hi nahin...", understanding my angst and not probably my frustration, Shirke replied "Abhi Bhagwan se kya kaam phans raha hai saab aapka... mere saath lift-man tha... tabiyat theek nahin rahti thi... idhar bahut pressure-job hai saab, usko sambhalne ko bilkul nahin hota tha... abhi do saal hua Retirement liya..."... I settled my Bills, Shirke diligently put all the papers in a File and handed it over to me. Without even looking into his eyes I put a crumpled 100 Rs. note in his hand whispering 'Thank You'... Shirke informed me "saab hum loag teen loag hain... teeno shift main" ... Looking straight into his eyes now, I tucked another 100 Rs note into his shirt-pocket and started moving... thinking my meeting with the God was only a dream probably... he & me were yet to come face-to-face... but then there was still some belief that he was seeing me all through these days in & around ICU... hope in my Dad's eyes corroborated my belief to an extent...
I was probably looking for God in humans I came across... I was trying to find him in their dedication, service, assurance, sympathy.... let's accept it-we are not Gods, we only carry a part of him which we exhibit as per our conveniences - we have individually defined 'Nobility'... our greeds have far exceeded our worths... Bhagwaan bhi kab tak sambhalega, achchha hua retire ho gaya!
